Threesome

When I first moved to France I made a point of watching French TV, reading the French press and listening to French radio in order to improve and update my vocabulary.  As a consequence, my car radio is automatically tuned into RMC, a sports and news programme not dissimilar to BBC Radio 5 Live. I listen to it, almost subconsciously, whenever I am in the car.

One afternoon, I found myself listening to a lively, very matter of fact, discussion about “threesomes”. I checked that I hadn’t accidentally knocked the dial on the radio, no it was still RMC. The programme host, Brigitte, was discussing some extremely intimate details with her listeners who had rung in to talk about their experiences with “threesomes”. Now I’m sure there are similar phone-ins in the UK, but definitely not at 3 o’clock in the afternoon.

Given that I was going to be spending four days  in Varese with two of my favourite men, my beloved and my Swiss friend, I thought maybe it was time to try a threesome. Well, what can I say? It was long, hard and I worked up a considerable sweat. My Swiss friend, being more familiar with this terrain,  set a consistent pace on the front, I sat on his wheel, and my beloved followed.

Yes, we were on our bikes. What were you thinking? Remember I’m training for London-Paris and need to log plenty of kilometers. The weather was much hotter than anticipated, early 30s, and there was very little breeze to cool us, as we rode around the various lakes near Varese. Fortunately the pace allowed me to admire the many palatial lake side residences, including that of Mr Clooney. Sadly, gorgeous George wasn’t home, so we couldn’t pop in for a nespresso.

Lake Maggiore

In this temperature, it’s all too easy to become dehydrated and, on Saturday, I bonked on the final hill back into Varese. I was rescued by my Swiss friend who gallantly rode to the nearest village for a bottle of cold coke: cyclists’ viagra. All in all, it was a very pleasurable experience and one I’ll be happy to repeat. Though I doubt it’ll be of much interest to Brigitte and her listeners.

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