Any fashionista will tell you that you can’t skimp on quality when wearing white. Cheap simply doesn’t cut it. The same goes for cycling shorts, as white appears to be the choice for the summer months. Now, you don’t see many women wearing white cycling shorts, those that do tend either to have the right size butt (small) or it’s their team kit. Men, on the other hand, seem to have no such qualms. Nor apparently do they possess mirrors.
So here’s my guide on how to wear white shorts. First off, throw out all those shorts that have turned grey from repeated washing and those from which the lycra has fled. Buy the most expensive pair you can afford and please ensure that they are lined. If your butt is bigger than Alberto Contador’s, choose white shorts with black and/or coloured inserts such as these which give the illusion of a skinner butt.
Do try to avoid wearing them in the rain. Wash after each wear, on a cool cycle, with other whites, to preserve the colour.
Some of my female readers who are unfamiliar with the world of cycling may have gotten quite excited on seeing this photo. Please don’t, this model (sadly) looks nothing like the average road cyclist. Indeed, if more of them looked like this I suspect the number of women taking to two wheels would rocket exponentially.
Postscript: As the mercury climbs, please do not be tempted to a) ride without a jersey or b) ride with your jersey unzipped, unless you’re wearing a vest underneath. The obvious exception to this rule is anyone with a torso similar or better than the man in the photo.