I popped into the club yesterday evening to complete my three-stage handover to the new Club Secretary and her adjoint. As I entered the pair of them, along with the new M Le President, were gazing uncomprehendingly at the club computer. They told me it didn’t work. I switched it on and “Lo and Behold”, it functioned. Wonders will never cease. They then asked me how the large printer next to the computer worked. This is a bit of a shaggy dog story, so bear with me.
Some years ago, having discussed the possibility of acquiring a computer for the clubhouse, M Le President was seduced by an offer in a local supermarket. He bought the computer without authorisation from the rest of the management team. The computer runs on its own slightly compatible Microsoft-like software. M Le President acquired the large professional printer in a similar fashion ie without authorisation, from a bankruptcy sale.
Sadly he failed to acquire the all important lead linking it to the computer which I finally managed to track down some 18 months later. At the same time I learnt we needed a Microsoft operating system in order to use the printer. Microsoft doesn’t and cannot run on this particular computer. Yes, a classic example of non-conjoined thinking! The new secretarial combo looked aghast, clearly they’d anticipated being able to use the club’s facilities to carry out their new role.
They wanted to know what I used. I gently explained that I made use of my own computer and printer for the club. The new M Le President demanded to know what had happened to the technology acquired by our predecessors. I explained that I had absolutely no idea but I could confirm that anything and everything we had acquired was in the clubhouse and available for everyone to use.
Luckily we had a licence renewal so I was able to show them once more the steps and paperwork to record the transaction. I had left the new Secretary a couple of envelopes but explained they would need to acquire some stationery as again the old management team had used their own supplies for the benefit of the club.
I then advised that there were cheques to be paid including the insurance on the club’s cars. The new M Le President didn’t seem to think it mattered that the invoice hadn’t been settled, he had after all a copy of the renewal. Good luck with that if anything happens to the car. I know exactly how much you’re going to receive from the insurers. It’s a big fat zero. But he wouldn’t be told.
My conscious is now clear. I have handed over all the documents, notes, checklists and idiot’s guides but, as they say over here “on ne peut faire boire un âne qui n’a pas soif”.