View from the Back
Ramblings of a retiree in France
One from the Vaults: Nightmare scenario – my beloved retires!
Today I’m revisiting a post from 2017. If there’s one thing that’s come out of the various lockdowns, it’s the knowledge that I will survive my beloved’s retirement. He ceased working 24/7 at the end of March and now works 5-6 days per month on projects he greatly enjoys. However………………….
One of my biggest fears has always been what will happen when my beloved retires? Despite being happily married for more years than I like to own up to, he’s travelled a lot on business throughout our marriage. This has meant we’ve spent limited albeit quality time together. Consequently, I’m not used to having him underfoot all the time but now the clock is ticking down.
This year has shown how we might muddle along in the future. Firstly, we were on vacation in Australia the whole month of January. I say “on vacation” but given we can work anywhere that has WiFi, we both spent some time working too. However, we had a truly blissful time throughout the lengthy holiday. February was typically busy as my beloved geared up for a major dental exhibition which is held in Germany every two years. Then he broke his leg!
What followed, I hope and pray, wasn’t totally indicative of our future life together as retirees. I waited on him hand and foot for the best part of three months. Even now he has a tendency to expect me to leap up from my chair to fetch him something. I’m not slow to remind him he has two fully functioning legs and he can fetch it himself. I even remind him that he promised me he’d be more helpful around the house. We all know how that turned out.
He’s back travelling again on business but being unable to travel rather focused his mind and now he appreciates that it’s not always necessary to leap into a plane and jet off somewhere. He’ll shortly be heading off to China for a quick but necessary trip which is sadly cutting short our time at the Vuelta a Espana. In the meantime, we’ve been spending plenty of quality time together and I have to admit, it hasn’t been all bad.
On the plus side have been lazy meals (prepared by me) eaten outside on the balcony where we’ve talked about anything and everything. Great communication is definitely one of the cornerstones of the longevity of our relationship. We’ve enjoyed a few week-ends away watching sport – a shared passion from the start of our relationship. In contrast, we’ve had plenty of days companionably working away in the office where we sit either side of a massive desk. A few shared projects where I do the donkey work and he takes the glory – plus ça change. Early morning cycle rides, where we’re both rediscovering our cycling legs.
On the downside, not so much. Maybe all those years of training have finally licked him into shape. I know he’s never going to be anything other than high-maintenance but this summer he’s refrained from losing too much and making too much mess. I really can’t expect any more! So, whenever it happens, I think I’m going to be able to manage just so long as we never have to share a bathroom.
View from the Back 
I had the same fears when He-Man began to work from home full time. There was a learning curve for both of us and it didn’t seem to take that long to begin to work it out and get along like he’d always worked from home. By the time he retired in late 2020 I wasn’t worried about us getting in each other’s way, but was terrified of the loss of incoming income! I’m still having anxiety over that, but less so than when he first retired. Hopefully, that fear goes away too. This inflation and recession isn’t helping!!
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It’s very concerning for anyone on a fixed income
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So true!
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Ahh retirement, many says heavens but for me still doing consulting work teletravail here and missed those running around. Adjustment periods can be long lol!! Cheers
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Thanks
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A woman has got to know her limits and priorities. 🧐😇🙏
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Exactly
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Good luck on your journey!
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Thank you Dorothy
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Things do continue to work if we “work” them.
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Indeed BC
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My husband retired 5 years before me. I loved my work until the thought of ‘now is a good time to stop working’ crept into my mind. I lucked out by retiring about 2 weeks before Covid hit. I would have been a lousy stay-at-home worker. It has all worked out beautifully.
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That’s great Lois
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💜 Exactly why I AM Divorced and Remain Single Control Freak; please be grateful for being in the frying pan and not in the fire
…💛💚💙…
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You know I am
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It sounds to me like you and your other half have a truly solid relationship that will survive whatever life throws at it, including retirement, broken bones, and even a pandemic! My own marriage lasted only 15 years, ending long before either of us were even thinking about retirement, but I know I would have likely killed him if he had been home and underfoot all day every day! 😉
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That’s true Jill, we’ll have been married 45 years in September
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WOW!!!! I’ve only known, I think, two couples who celebrated their 50th and you guys will be the third! Marriage requires not only love, but patience, willingness to compromise, and the ability to say, “I’m sorry” sometimes. It isn’t always easy, but you are doing it!
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Thank you
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You have done well. We have enjoyed more years in retirement than we had when first married
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That’s lovely to hear Derrick
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💜 ‘Shine’ movie 🎬 🎞 🎥 🎦 📽 ✨️ 🎬 David Helfgott and his ‘Beloved’ Control Freak; that is ALL, very good, carry on
…💛💚💙…
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💎 – Diamond Hard – 💎
💎 There is a difference between a CHECK LIST!!! Relationship and an UnConditional Connection in The Absence of Abuse, that is Perceived or Actual; beware of letting “The Beloved” Go
💎 – Diamond Hard – 💎
…💎💎💎…
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I have friends who are never apart, going to each others appointments etc. Even when she comes round my house for knit and natter to have a break, he walks with her then trots off. Another friend’s husband has worked abroad for most of their marriage, only coming home a few times a year. Now he’s retired she carries on with her interests and he plays a lot of bridge! My late husband had plenty of outings and trips with retired friends from work and camera club and I carried on with my things, so we always had something to talk about. At home we had our own space and computers, took turns with cooking and housework and met up for dinner and favourite TV programmes – and holidays and outings of course.
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I particularly like the idea of taking turns with cooking and housework. I should be so lucky!!!
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My dad retired in 2019 and he was all excited and then the pandemic hit. My mom said her house never looked cleaner he was so bored 🙂
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Sadly, my beloved has not turned to housework. Quite the opposite.
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Having a man around 24/7 that doesn’t help at home, I know what that it is and if men call women high maintenance, then the ones that don’t like to do home work should definitely be labelled as extremely high maintenance. I say that to my husband, every time he calls me high maintenance. Aside from that, it’s beautiful to see you found your routine as a couple and you nourish your relationship with love and care. I hope I’ll survive my high maintenance husband 😁
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Michele, my OH is seriously high maintenance – I am not – but we’ve kinds established a routine which works for us.
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Good you found a routine. Any secret you would like to share?
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Michele, I think every relationship is different so I’m not sure I have any secrets as such.
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